Father’s Day

Every few years “Father’s Day” falls on the day the man who claimed to be my father and the man I will forever loathe, murdered my mother. The year 2007 and now 2012 are such years. Imagine the irony. This year, as I do on every June 17th, I mourned my mother’s death and as I usually do on “Father’s Day”, I did not even think of the man who was my biological father [someone I never met or knew anyway].

This year, however, I will not only mourn the death of my mother but I will ponder fatherhood — as I may or may not have demonstrated it. Three of my four children have denounced me because I have denounced the religion in which their mother and I had actually raised them. How twice ironic: Father’s Day is the day the “father” who raised me murdered my mother and I raised my children — as their father — in such a way that they do not honor me on Father’s Day or any day for that matter.

In either event, I accept the agony of this life as partly the consequences of my own doings as well as this is the nature of life on “God’s” planet, Prison Earth. I enjoyed being father to my children; I love them  and miss them. Nonetheless, fatherhood, like motherhood, is a phenomenon that receives too much credit and too much blame and as in other aspect of this life, we work with what we have at the time and do the best we can.

Published in: on May 31, 2012 at 7:04 AM  Comments (2)  
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  1. I write this and speak candidly because I know Carlespie, I ‘know of’ his ex-wife and I know the religion of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    Carlespie, accept that your children are not the children you nurtured, loved and reared. Those children are the ones that adored you and remember you as a father figure. The children (and your children’s children) you now see are brainwashed. I’ve read one of the brainwashing techniques is assaulting one’s identity and creating guilt by getting the subject to agree they are a bad person. If so, that did not work with you. The act of “disfellowshipping” did not cause you to question the core of who you are; therefore, your denouncing the cult of JWs was so overwhelming I suspect it was then and there your ex-wife decided to use your children as a conduit to manipulate you to do as the masses wish. Remember, your children were quite young when this occurred and certainly not mentally equipped to overthrow this psychological warfare.

    Today, your children’s love for their mother can’t allow them to discern her shrewd craftiness. Do not believe for one moment that with your DNA in their bodies they are fully embracing her stance. The double-edged sword of honoring thy mother and father has put them at a fork in the road and they cannot garner the strength to STAND UP and “think” independently and logically for themselves. If they could, they wouldn’t be in the realm of JWs.

    I sincerely pray life continues to be good to them but I confidently believe “if” something ever happens to their mother it will be their father they seek out. It won’t be a neighbor. It won’t be a co-worker. It won’t even be a spouse. It definitely will not be a JW. It will be their father. The shock of their total lack of preparation will bring them to their knees in a grief so encompassing only another parent can soothe it. God forbid, if the scenario differs and you leave this earth before their mother, there will be no comfort. They will be left to feed off each other and come to accept responsibility it was by their own volition they willingly forfeited the love of their father. I shudder to think of a pain that will be tangible but one there will be no relief for.


    • Your words are kind and I appreciate them. I do hope that one day, we can re-unite as father and sons/daughter but if not … . In any event, I thank you for your insight words.


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